Death
We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.~Joseph Campbell
Hanging on to the past, holding a grudge, reliving injustices in your mind till you can’t function; these are all examples of a life where the energy of the Death card would be a welcome relief. But what about a life that is coasting along just fine?
Living in complacency can be a trap as much as dwelling in a negative head-space. Sometimes you think you have what you want, and it is only when something comes along and shakes up your world, that you realize that you have been allowing yourself to be held back from a richer, more fulfilling life.
It doesn’t have to be the earthshaking energy of the Tower card. Sometimes it’s far more subtle, and it sneaks up on you. Sometimes while you’re crying in the dark over some dear thing that you’ve lost, you began to feel a small bud fight to emerge from deep underground. Don’t let the pain you’re experiencing overwhelm it, let it grow.
This is the power of Death acting in your life.
Balance Point
In an effort to address my thoughts on where to take my Tarot practice, including this blog, I drew one card for a nudge in whatever direction would be best. I chose my Hudes Deck, because I was feeling very stressed out at the time. Mentally, I had climbed the high-dive ladder at the pool, and I was finding it difficult to take that last step into the air, anticipating the plunge into the shock of cold water. I have not turned to the Tarot for my own needs in quite a while. It was a bit like going to an old friend and adviser for help, after a long period of not speaking to them at all.
Tarot can have a quirky sense of humor of it’s own sometimes. Seeking a card to focus my actions, I drew a card that is hardly an ‘action card’. And yet, upon reflection, there is the ghost of action here. As actions can occur in the imagination, there is action to be found in the Six of Pentacles from the Hudes Deck.
The first thing this card said to me was, ‘balance’. This image is one of symmetry. The perfectly balanced pentacles, both on the scales and in the air around the gentleman’s head. The center post of the scales, pointing perfectly at the chin, through the center of the face and on into the infinity above, divide the image neatly in two. After all, what else is necessary to move forward than to be perfectly balanced? Indeed, while riding a bicycle you will get nowhere without a good sense of balance.
There is an element of choice here as well. Which one is better, or are they the same? Items are weighed on a scale to determine which is heavier. In the mind, things are weighed to determine which is wiser, saner, more desirable, or less likely to fail in some manner. Sometimes the choice is one of ‘a lesser of two evils’. It is still a choice, and choice is an action. A mental action, but an action nonetheless.
He certainly looks bored, doesn’t he? Hesitation in life can lead to ennui, to endless stalling. Once that malaise sets in it can be difficult to shake it off, and accomplish the simplest tasks. One would rather sleep on, than arise and greet the day. Depression can be a deep pit that is very difficult to escape.
The pentacles deal with material, corporeal things. The body, possessions, money and practical considerations relating to these things. One of my motives for asking where I need to take my practice, is a need to discover a means to earn my keep in this world, to be of some benefit in this life, using my Tarot cards. I believe the card is telling me that I need to put things in order first. I need to seek a balance within, as well as in my daily life, as a foundation from which to act. It seems ‘getting my act’ together seems to be the first step that I must take, before I can travel any further.
Unfortunately, this is not one of my strong points. But it’s likely that is the very reason why I am being directed to do so.
Death – Starting Over
I received an interesting answer in my daily card today.
When I do my daily card draw, sometimes I ask a question if there is some particular issue on my mind. Acknowledging from what I learned here, that I need to work on issues of self-worth, I asked, “How can I be good to myself today?”.
I was a bit surprised when I pulled the Death card. My initial thought was “Quit Your Job!” Yeah, right… that’s just wishful thinking. I’m not quite ready to do that just yet. After taking a few more moments to reflect on it, I realized that I was allowing old habits and automatic reactions to hold me back. I really need to let go of some things.
Let’s face it. Dying is the ultimate act of ‘letting go’.
Yes, it is time to let go of my expectations in my current job that was once wonderful and has now become a chore. But I also need to let go of my old ways of feeling about myself. I need to let go of my anger and frustration at whomever is causing me this trouble at work and I need to let go of my ongoing futile attempts to please everyone all the time. In the act of ‘dying’ to the old ways I will make way for the new ways to grow. Out of the skeleton we see emerging a butterfly, an age-old symbol for rebirth.
For further understanding, I looked up the affirmation written for the Death card by A.L. Samul in the book Wisdom in the Cards, the companion book for the Hudes deck. Here is what I found,
I acknowledge my ability to release the old, so that new can come into my life. I forgive others and release my hold on them. I forgive myself, and allow myself to move on.
This can be a scary card for some. But this morning I saw it as a way out. I focused on what this card meant for me today and as a result I had a very relaxed and productive day with minimal stress. Sometimes the Death card can be a welcome sight.
This Death card is from the Hudes Tarot Deck
Three Steps to Happiness
I have simply not been feeling happy lately. I’m not talking about joy and elation every five minutes. It’s more a matter of contentment, and a feeling of satisfaction in day to day activities. It certainly doesn’t help that I’ve had a bad cold for about a week, but it goes deeper than that. The main problem is that my workplace has become spiritually toxic these days. It’s been a gradual deterioration, and it’s a shame, because at one time I really loved my job. But the atmosphere has been slowly changing due to the behavior of others. I have no control over that and I’m not yet ready to quit this job. So I need some counsel on what I can do to regain my happiness in spite of these circumstances.
Using the Hudes Tarot Deck
The second card is the Three of Wands. The standard image of this card as shown by the Rider Waite Tarot
Regarding this card, I wrote this affirmation in my journal,
Acknowledge and cultivate my personal power. Respect and honor my intellect, energy and talents. Honor myself by acknowledging that I am a good and capable person.
The final card is the Page of Cups. This counsel is to continue my studies in the spirit, including Tarot and other energy work. The advice is to focus on these things and to remain open as a child to them. To continue to learn and reflect as a student and allow my understanding to grow and deepen. This is my heart’s work and it will continue to feed and strengthen me as I continue on my life’s path.
It is interesting that the energies represented here are Fire (Wands) and Water (Cups). Fire is male/active and Cups are female/active. The strong energy of fire is flanked and supported by the strong energy of water. The male power within is focused through the female power that connects to the outer world. This is inner strength tempered and balanced by love and spirit; personal will focused channeled through God-Energy.
I will try to accept and apply this counsel through out the coming week. It will take a bit of effort and time, but if I can follow this path it will lead me back to a state contentment again.
A New Venture
My husband and I have been discussing an idea we have for a new business venture. One that we can work on together and will allow us to replace our present incomes. Using the Hudes
The first two cards show the inner and outer manifestations of the situation. I see the King of Pentacles representing the comfort level we had achieved with our employment situations crossed by the Five of Swords. This card is basically the “cheating” card. It’s a card of those who want to win at all costs, no matter how much they must lie and cheat to do so. On one level it reflects the strange circumstances under which my husband was laid off. But another level, and speaking more to me, shows my attitude and primary motivation behind my wanting this venture to succeed… an unhealthy desire to ‘get even’ with people who have wronged me at my workplace. This is not the best foundation for a new venture and it’s something I need to change in my heart.
The outcome card, the Wheel of Fortune, is noncommittal. The outcome of our new venture is purely up to chance. Perhaps if I change my primary motivation for wanting to start this venture, the outcome card would also change. My primary motivation should be to benefit our family and to find satisfaction in my tasks – not to get back at people.
The past is very clearly stated here – The Devil – security through enslavement. It’s ‘easier’ to stay in a job that makes you unhappy because of the illusion of security. The fact that you know a paycheck is coming from someone you are working for vs. earning money by working for yourself in a self-employed situation. This is in the past and it is time to move on.
The Nadir card, or spiritual past, is the Nine of Cups. This is often called the ‘wish fulfillment’ card and it’s nice to see it in this spread. However, in this position I think it reflects the a deep heart’s desire and basic motivation to become self-employed and to be successful.
The Zenith card, or spiritual future, is the Page of Pentacles. This reflects the learning experience involved in starting a new venture, along with the idea of starting over again financially. I interpret it this way as a result of a comparson with the King of Pentacles, which represents the level of comfort we have achieved through employment. The Page is representing new financial growth, with the goal of eventually maturing to the King that lies in the heart of the reading.
I think a change of attitude and motivation on my part will result in success. I will need to meditate on this further to bring about this change in my heart.
The Next Thirty Days
Using the Hudes
My husband has recently been laid-off from work. While neither one of us are worried about this situation, having made plans for just such an occurrence, I still wanted to get a peek at what may be in store.
Overall I have to say I’m quite encouraged by this. In the center where you see two cards crossed (although here I have laid the crossing card below the base card for clarity) you see the inner and outer aspects of the present. While the outer appearance is one of loss and sadness (Five of Pentacles), the inner card (Ace of Pentacles) shows that this is actually a new opportunity for financial growth. A new job, or maybe a new business doing well.
Below, in the Nadir position – or spiritual past – you see the Five of Wands representing the conflict that is at the base of this new situation. Without going into details here, I can say it definitely fits the current situation.
In the Past position, to the left, you see the Knight of Wands. He has a habit of entering one’s life, causing conflict and bringing challenges one would rather not deal with. But these challenges are usually necessary for growth. Note the sharp blade used to cut away the old to make way for the new. The changes he causes are not always pleasant but usually necessary.
I read the outer cards in this spread from left to right; the left being the past and the right is the future. I move from the Nadir and Past card to the Zenith and Future card in a diagonal direction. So, the Zenith card – or spiritual future – is the Page of Cups. In this case, a move toward a more inner strength and development of one’s soul and insight. My husband has lately taken up the practice of meditation, and it has been very helpful to him during this situation and in his overall mental well-being.
The Future card is pretty self-explanatory, I think. A celebration; joy of the heart.
As I said, we are not a bit worried. This situation has provided a new opportunity for growth. Things look pretty good.
What’s That I Hear?
Is that the sound of cards shuffling?
Why yes, yes it is.
And what card have a I drawn for this evening?
The Star
What a lovely vision. A woman emerging from the deep, dark water into a magical starry night. Her face is serene and content. One can imagine her rising from the water to stand on the shore and stretch her limbs and yawn after a long and peaceful sleep. What sort of dreams was she having? What knowledge does she now possess that she did not before her long sleep in the water?
Only time will tell…
The Star card is from the Hudes Tarot Deck
Star Light, Star Bright
I think my favorite Major Arcana card is the Star. Most of the decks I’ve seen have lovely Star cards. My all-time favorite might be the Star from the Hudes deck. (I say ‘might’ because my favorite ‘anything’ changes according to my mood and experience.)
This card strongly evokes a recurring dream of mine. When I see this card I get a very strong memory of that dream – the way it feels… the sounds, the colors, the sensations… almost as if I’m having the dream again. Tarot cards and dreams have always had a close relationship in my life, but this one is as close to any one dream as a card can get – at least so far.
This has affected the way I read the Star when I see it. I know many people see the Moon as representing dreams and the unconcious, but for me the Moon has more to do with instinct and heeding your inner voice. The Star has grown to mean dreams to me, especially ones that are more like memories than fantasy. The ones that mean something and connect to something difficult to access in waking life.
A Small Assortment of Decks
I just ordered my third Universal Waite
Some decks I outgrew. For a while I really loved the Osho Zen Deck
My current favorite for personal use is the Fey Tarot
I’ve been using the Gilded Tarot
I recently received the delightful Bohemian Cats Tarot
Two others that I use occasionally are the Tarot of the Cat People
I’ve had other decks that have moved on to other households, and there are many, many that I still wish to acquire. I think it may be a form of addiction, as I know some people who two or three hundred decks in their collections. I really would like to keep it under a hundred myself. So I will likely continue weeding them out occasionally. But these decks will likely always form my core collection with a handful more that I still need to purchase – ones that I think are likely to be “keepers”.
